Have you ever met a really messed up rich person and wondered how it’s humanly possible to be miserable in life while being really rich? This post is about the how the pursuit of the almighty dollar, at the expense of everything else, can cause massive trauma for families and what you can do to avoid it, even if you aren’t, “rich.” And it’s not only about rich people because drama and trauma affects everyone.
Let me disclose that I am not a professional shrink. Everything I write is based on what I think I know; my opinion, based on direct, life experience. I’ve been blessed with amazing life including a fair amount of drama and trauma that I let affect me and the people I love the most. All humans suffer some form of trauma. And I’ve learned a few things about how the love of money by itself can mess a lot of families up, even if they aren’t “rich.”
Do Rich People Have It All?
There’s not a single answer to this, but it’s a big enough illusion that millions of us chase the money at the expense of being happy and healthy. What good is that? I want to wake up every day feeling energized, healthy, super happy and ready to make a difference for other people. Then the money shows up. But it wasn’t always this way and it’s taken me many years to get more clear on how to feel rich no matter how much money I have in the bank.
Like many of us, I’ve chased the almighty dollar at the expense of my happiness and health. That’s when life taught me the purpose of suffering; to get quiet, pray, learn, adapt, grow and serve. I’ve created a lot of drama, as well as some trauma, when I was least happy, most broken with my career, business and life. Thank goodness for my amazing family and friends who were they to help me through the, “dark nights of the Soul.”
There is tremendous purpose in suffering through the tough times to get back on track. Never, ever give up!
What Do You Really Want?
So what do you want? If you know, great. If not, why not? It only takes some focused practice to get clear on this. The process begins with asking the question, and the many questions that follow. The only way to get what we want is to know what we lack and then go for it. But if you base this search on your highest purpose, you’ll get there faster. At least that’s been my experience when teaching and coaching others.
I’ve been working to refine my own “inner game of health, wealth and happiness,” for over 55 years now. Recently, following some drama and trauma in my business life, I’m finally the most clear, happy, healthy and wealthy I’ve ever been. This is because I put my purpose for serving others first, even though I can be a selfish jerk at times. (Just ask my cool wife, kids and best friends.)
Once you know what you really want, how will get it? Many of us wing it. The serious players create a plan, build a team, commit to working in alignment with their treasures and gifts to make a difference in the world. There is always a sacrifice when we go for what we want, especially when the learn the power of, “One Thing.” If you don’t already know Gary Keller’s book, The ONE Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results, I highly suggest reading it. (When you buy this book with this link RetireOnPurpose.com earns a small fee by Amazon. It costs you nothing extra. And this is how I keep the site completely “ad free.” I greatly appreciate it when you support my work because my primary purpose is to help you get what you want by sharing stories, articles and helpful resources to guide you in your business, life and retirement planning.)
The Truth About Money, For Me
The love, no, lust for money can create massive, unnecessary drama, and often, deeply-embedded traumas that all humans must learn to process in a healthy way. If not, we suffer.
When I was a kid I learned from my parents, “Money can’t buy you happiness or love, but it sure makes life easier.” Like all humans, phrases like this often get downloaded straight into our subconscious minds. When messages like this get buried in the subconscious mind, it’s only a matter of time before they lurk back into your conscious mind. For example, have you ever bought stuff you didn’t need or couldn’t afford? Me too. That’s just one, common example. We eat, drink, shove pills down our throats and do all sorts of insane things, all for the love of money.
The truth is, as a student and coach of mind, body and spirit, I’ve learned that our subconscious mind is truly our friend. We just need to understand the purpose of our subconscious mind and learn to let it do it’s real job; protect and serve us.
Now, more than ever, I know that money is not, by itself, the only thing that messes rich families up. But Chasing money at the expense of the other things like being happy and healthy sure taught me important lessons. It’s the choices we make chasing the money that can backfire and work against us. This is when the drama and trauma begins. And it can get costly for us, our families and friends.
It can be easy to look at “rich people” and judge them poorly. I believe most “rich” people are really good people who work hard, save, invest and do so while providing real value to the world. Naturally, there are exceptions to every rule. But most of the rich people I know are happy and healthy humans. They give a lot, too.
In fact, what I am about to share with you applies to families from all walks of life when money becomes the almighty.
- Money is a byproduct of the value we deliver to the world. It’s also a measure society places high value on. And the love of money, the chase of it all, often leads rich and not-so-rich families into drama and trauma.
- Most people don’t really want more money. We want what the money will represent to us; more time, control, freedom, happiness, and maybe even a full-blown retirement adventure.
- Real wealth, sustaining health, happiness and wealth is about way more than money.
Losing The Things We Love
When my father passed away several years ago it traumatized me. I was so in shock I told my wife within a day that I was going to ride my motorcycle across the country, from Arizona back to New Hampshire, where I grew up. My intention was to get away from the pressures of my small business so I could process it all. In retrospect, even though I love to ride bicycles and motorcycles, it was a temporary act of insanity that empowered me to “let go” and “let God.” The time on the road and the work I did thereafter enabled me to heal mind and spirit. It all worked out and I would do it again even though it does seem kind of insane.
The major lesson I learned was that none of dad’s material things mattered to me. He didn’t leave a big estate. But he left a lasting legacy of love and adoration for his family that I get to share with mine, and you. In short, the most important thing dad left for all is his loving legacy, his wit, hugs and smiles. Dad knew the power of love and purpose.
How To Get What You Want Without Drama and Trauma
Depending on who you are, the work you’ll need to do to get what you want, while limiting the drama and trauma, will be completely up to you and who you enlist to help you get there. Nobody succeeds alone. We all need help from advisors, friends and family.
The best way I know how to get what I want is to focus on one thing at a time and commit to a plan of action. Then I must do the work, face my fears and adapt as I learn. The same can be true for you. Once you know what you want, and I highly recommend you focus on one, primary goal at each stage of your life.
For me, my one thing is centered around my primary life and professional purpose at any given time. Right now it’s to build RetireOnPurpose.com, share the new coaching program and workshop I’ve been developing, and invest the rest of my life in service to others. That’s how I get what I want even though it doesn’t always work out the way I initially planned. You, like me, will want to learn to adapt to the inherent changes that live far beyond our control. This is where acceptance, mindfulness, faith, purpose and clarity play massive roles in helping us get where we want to go without creating the drama and trauma that can mess families up.
The Power of Alignment Lives In Your Purpose
I believe God wants us all to be happy, healthy and “rich,” however we define this. Money is not the only thing that makes us rich. And chasing it is not the only source of drama and trauma. But it sure plays a massive role. Just look around at the world today.
The power of aligning with your purpose is the key to success and significance. With clarity of purpose we can get through almost anything life throws our way. When we align with our highest power and focus on one thing we want, next, we begin to attract and enlist the resources that will help us succeed. I only know this because I’ve lived it now for many years by facing and overcoming fears that would otherwise hold me back.
The power of purpose and focus helps us stay clear on the vision and mission for what’s next in our life. And in doing so we can more easily limit the head trash and self limiting beliefs about money, people and the stuff we think we want, but don’t really need.
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